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Name: szeeee
Gender: Female


Interests: God, OC, One Voice, Oheya! Lemon Bars, Baking with mixes, Jelly and cream cheese <3 Hellogoodbye feel good songs, Justin Timberlake, Runway shows, Shopping LJs, Brio, Teen Vogue, ZAPPOS.com, Dim Sum, Crystal Jade xlb (: , Gelato, Ben & Jerrys, Island Creamery, Venz! 4+4, 1T, 2T, 3T


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Member Since: 7/7/2005

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Tuesday, February 09, 2010

youre a hot messss and im falling for you ~~

that song is damn freaking addictive, omg its trash but i like it(:

gosh seriously i want to cut the over thinking part of my brain out sometimes


Friday, February 05, 2010

its been a good week yo! (: everythings turned out really good and wonderful and finallyyyy things are turning around. now its just done to crunch timeeee. world lit outline/tok presentation/ee/geog ia/ (!!!!)

ahhh okay the ib uniform makes me look fat when i jump ):

claire's thingy later(: yay, cant wait to see everyone!!! and oh I WENT SHOPPING YESTERDAY! finallyyy(: hahah but i only bought one thing ):

lying in my bed I hear the clock tick,
and think of you
caught up in circles
confusion is nothing new


Tuesday, February 02, 2010

let any success be borne with humility and any failure accompanied by grace.

i find the hardest thing to do whenever working towards something is to stop comparing. the comparisons are endless, sometimes i always feel like saying God its damn unfair you know. why am i like this, why am i here, why am i there, why do i feel this way and why does no one else seem understand? but then God places me wherever i am for a reason, and that reason will soon justify the means(:

(: it takes 26 less muscles to smile than to frown. for the past two days my face has been less buff(:

xoxo!!


Friday, January 29, 2010

well the only good thing that happened this week was on friday night, meeting lijia joel and clarence for dinner before gap at church. splitting headache towards the end but, oh well it was all good(: you guys really cheered me up and helped me end the weekend on a good note.though dinner was only an hour long it was still time well spent. thanks(: also had lunch with ngiam, thanks for helping me sort my thoughts out birthday buddy!!!(:

i kind of feel like im walking in a minefield of disastrous bad news. nose dive into lakes streams oceans tides of despair. but maybe cling on to the hope that God has something great at the end planned for me.

 


Tuesday, January 26, 2010

hahahah well, its another start of a long long week. actually, just three more days till the end of the week.

its so hard to stay cheerful and positive whatever the circumstance, but i think i really thank God for making some circumstances easy to be happy in(: my classes so far are good, even in the suckiest one coughmathcough we still find stupid things to laugh about. though i guess, in school there are always a few things that make me sad or unhappy, idk i guess its really a lot easier to look on the bright side of life.

i guess its in my nature to pick at the horrible things, to look and analyse them and over think everything. i wouldnt say im a perfectionist but i love things to be perfect, for things to go smoothly so i dont feel that im losing out, or that im messing something up. the more i feel somethings wrong, the more i'll think about it, and the more i think about it, the more i try to prove to myself there wasnt anything wrong in the first place. its become such a bad habit i guess i've to finally put a stop to it. all the worrying and nitpicking is making me so tired and exhausted. well i think ive realised that stress puts me in a more... micro position than macro.

school work's been okay, i feel like im reaching the top of the pile. but geog ia and world lit is still on my mind, gah, much more than ee and tok actually. im pretty much in a rut about my world lit topic cus ive got sorta the same one as my classmate :/ but, I-B able to do this :D i'll find a wayyy.

choir's been... tiring as usual. haha last year i really loved singing, it was like destressing and like wonderful and a joy, haha i'd look forward to it after school but somehow this year's different, the responsibility is heavier and its more of an anchor than a platform to help me step up. but i guess i cant blame anyone but myself, its my choice to shirk or to put everything in place, right? theres prac on saturday too, and last year i'd happily run off to syf prac on sats, but now i just feel a bit demoralised by it all. founders day, acs sunday, oloumouk, dont even know if i should go for prague.

well, i suppose if theres one thing that keeps me going its the friends ive made in ib, church friends, and also the friends ive kept from mg(: i love what beulah told me, how you only bring a few friends from each stage of your life with you each time, and its really true and its that process that like really reminds you to treasure what you have before its gone, even if its the simple things. hahaha i bumped into nicole while walking up to class after a super hot and boring assembly (haha whats newww) and we were just talking about stuff and how everything is and it was really nice to just catch up again, even though it was only like less than five minutes. made me smile(: and i went to check out what she wanted me to look at on her blog, HAHAHAHAHA its such a dumb picture but yet it was really really really funny hahahahahaha i cant believe how hard we laughed about it heheheh. i think its like the slogging for o's, but the fact that we were all in it together that really made all the mg memories so special. i guess thats kinda different now, we all take different combis and its no longer that same... team spirit to work together to a common 45 pts but i suppose we'll get there somehow.

and recently, hanging out with nats, rachel and james during choir, the group of classmates that i see in the morning and during PC, and like bumping into liana and sandra around in school + all my subject classes which i really enjoy, econs, chem, english, geog (hahah the bernarda reading was quite funny todayyy), i really miss our chinese class though ): though chinese sucked and everything, it was a nice classmates kinda class(:  

pc kinda makes me happy. i think its really the only "class" in which all ten of us are together(: sometimes i wish that maybe our class were closer, but i suppose i know that you guys are really all that i need. i think, though its undeniable that somehow, moving around from class to class has made things different for all of us, im still really glad i have yall. sometimes i forget to truly stand back and appreciate what i have with me. and yup i love all of you very much(:

well, there are other close friends i'm so grateful for, and i think some of them read this... once in a while. hahaha but i'd feel so awkward listing it all out, you guys know who you are. your whats up wings, your i miss yous, your smsing to tell me to restrain my smsing compulses, your attempts to catch me ninjaing offline, your telling me that you prayed for me, your birthday card that i read once in a while to cheer me up, our ?? :) jokes, the random phonecalls cos you havent talked to me in ages... it really makes my day, though you might not know(:

well i suppose you'd think im really cheerful and happy and like that everythings fine and dandy, but its really not. there are so many things swimming around in my head. not necessarily to do with school, but with certain people, certain feelings and certain... things.

i guess all this sudden openness on this blog, which though public has this nice aura of unknowingness who will read it, is just coming cos, well theres a lot on my mind. and i keep forgetting to be thankful in all circumstances. i keep forgetting to remember the good times, like sitting in the in between of the door and the cold classroom doing math, studying on the benches but actually htht-ing more than anything, teaching someone to smile more and to turn off that suan me sign on his forehead.. ahh so many, too many to list out(:

well, maybe after a longer, harder, more tiring school day or school week i might feel like im back at square one. but hopefully i'd remember to be thankful and try to turn that frown upside down. and oops, this post has turned out so crazily long.

anyway, there are still so many things im worried about, so many things that have hit me real bad over the past few days. but i suppose when times are hard, God really wants us to count our blessings. hope mine have helped you count yours! smile, and dont forget to remind me to do so too(:



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